Posted by permission of
David Singer.

At some point in each of our lives, we’ve had a “label” attached to us, and those labels sometimes hurt. Maybe the labels were attached when we were children and they’ve carried through to adulthood.

Or maybe they were attached to us as teenagers or adults. Either way, they hurt . . . sometimes terribly.

With many people, the labels can cause us to lash out, to hate others, and to use the labels as an excuse to abuse ourselves or others. We get caught in a maze to where there are so many dead ends that there appears to be no way out. 

With other labels, we were born with them, or the labels are our religion. Labels may be attached to medical challenges or life styles.

It doesn’t matter what the labels are . . . labels hurt.

Of course, there are positive labels and negative labels, but labels can also be taken both ways. A “high-society” girl can be a compliment or a cut down, depending on how it’s used.

We tend to look at others and judge them. Yet, do we really know what goes on in their lives? Do we know what it’s like to be behind their labels? We’ve never walked in their shoes. Until we have, we have no right to be critical. Even then, we have no right to judge them.

Let’s look at some labels. Do any of them fit you now . . . or in the past?

Is the color of your skin white?

Is the color of your skin black?

Is the color of your skin red?

Is the color of your skin yellow?

Are you an illegal immigrant?

Are you an immigrant?

Are you suffering from depression?

Do you have any chronic illnesses, and do you feel defined by your illness? “He’s a diabetic.” But isn’t he a person who just happens to have diabetes?

Are you a drug addict or alcoholic?

Even more difficult, are you a RECOVERING drug addict or alcoholic?

Do you suffer from mental illness? Seems like we all do, at one time or another?

Are you too heavy? Too thin? Or, do you feel like you are?

Are you shy and introverted? Or, are you an extrovert and demand to be the center of attention?

Are you a Christian? A Jew? A Muslim?

Are you gay?

Are you in a mixed marriage or the child of a mixed marriage?

Are you wrinkled and gray, and rather than being respected for your great knowledge and history, do you feel tossed aside, unloved, and neglected?

Are you an American?

Are you a Republican?

Are you a Democrat?

Are you from the South?

Are you a woman?

Are you successful?

Are you NOT successful?

Each of these labels can come with trials and difficulties. When we personally suffer from some of these labels, we forget that others suffer from different labels. We’re so quick to judge others, but we don’t like when others judge us.

This is one of the reasons why I love the Internet. It’s the great equalizer. No one knows which side of the “tracks” we live on, and it doesn’t matter. We’re all equal on the Internet, unless we ruin our own reputations online, which can certainly be done.

This post is for us to ponder what I call “labels.”

When could any of us stand up in front of group of people and not be judged on anything before we open our mouths to speak? We’re individuals who deserve to be heard without any labels being attached to us.

So many of the labels above are mine. How many of them are yours?

Robin

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“I must learn to love the fool in me–the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.”

–Theodore I. Rubin, MD

From The Oprah Magazine
October 2007
Page 81

 Robin

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Picture used with permission
of David Singer of Vidisco

I saw a little plaque the other day that read,

“Life isn’t about finding yourself . . . Life is about creating yourself.”

Think about that for a moment. We always hear people talk about “finding” themselves–whether it’s their place in life, their perfect career, who they want to be when they “grow up,” or whatever.

But when it comes right down to it, isn’t life about how we create ourselves? In essence, we mold ourselves into the person we want to be.

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We all know the guy or gal.

The one that we would vote “Top Fellow Employee that You Don’t Want to Work With.”

This is the one that complains all the time. Nothing is right. Woe is me. If something goes wrong, this guy blames everyone else. He can’t possibly be the one at fault. He’s wrapped up in elementary school games where he puts everyone else down in an attempt to make himself look good. You know the rest of the story.

What if your office issued such an award . . . but left the name out? Every day, you walked by this blank award and wondered if your name would fit in that space. How do your fellow employees feel about you?

If you’re the boss, you could still be voted on for such an award. Don’t count yourself out.

Think about that for a minute.

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When you go to a Chinese restaurant, do you read the advice from the fortune cookies? I do (unless the words are too small).

Here’s the advice from my last visit:

Recognition is the greatest motivator.

That advice really made me think. When we recognize the strengths and abilities in others, it motivates them to do better . . . to excel. Whether it’s your family members, peers, or employees, it works the same. Building people up makes them try even harder.

I once worked for a boss who thought just the opposite. He believed in tearing people down. He chewed up all of his employees and spit them out like toothpicks. He wasn’t choosy either. He was an equal opportunity chewer. And he chewed in public, so you felt like someone in front of a firing squad with all eyes upon you as you were being chewed apart by the hungry bullets.

It’s not fun to work with a gun pointed at the back of your head. It doesn’t make you do better; instead, it causes you to make more mistakes because you often feel more nervous about making mistakes. Not a fun position to be in.

So recognize the strengths of the people you work with. Compliment them on their work. Be the one who says they’re doing a good job. Don’t overdo it, because there’s nothing worse than praise that appears to be false. Mean what you say. Everyone has strengths.

Recognition is the greatest motivator can also mean recognizing a new idea and being motivated enough to do something about it. How many people have ideas but don’t do anything about it?

Sometimes I collect ideas. Martin says I can’t have any more ideas until I finish the ones I’ve already started.

Seriously, ideas are wonderful, but you have to act on those ideas for them to work for you. It’s like buying a software program and leaving it in the box, yet expecting it to boost your productivity.

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